Asking For a Friend...

Five things Saratogians want to know, but don't necessarily want people to know they want to know.

Everyone who’s spent any time on the internet knows what it really means when people ask a question and follow it up with “asking for a friend”—that they actually want to know for themselves, but don’t want to say so. Like, say, a person (not me) may want to know why his or her urine is neon, but not want anyone to know that it’s really his or her urine that’s neon. So he or she will make a post: “Why would a person’s pee be neon? Asking for a friend.” Upon learning that B vitamins turn urine neon, he or she (again, not me) would be both satisfied and free from embarrassment.

And so I figured there had to be some questions to which Saratogians were dying to know the answers, but were holding their tongues for one reason or another, be it embarrassment, bashfulness or because they’re a private person. Upon asking around—and promising that no one’s identity would be revealed—I found that I was correct. Here are five things the people of Saratoga want to know, but don’t want people to know they want to know, and their answers.